黑痴

很莫名的想念你
我不后悔 两年前的今天
残忍的拒绝你
只是觉得
你说得对
能遇到一个
可以跟你吵着吵着
就大笑的人

根本没有几个
整整一两年过去了
我还真希望
你会很快乐
因为。 

我可是牺牲自己的幸福
没有霸占你
让你更自由的 好不好
*拽脸*

如今我不需要安慰了
想我 真的长大了
哭过就好了 是谁发明的
没有人教过我 该怎么去爱
所以我就用我唯一懂得

想必 没有人会吧
世上就会少很多 伤心难过的可怜虫
以前 还可以对你
哭闹咆哮 你都不会说第二句
那时候 你一定过的很苦
才会向那女人 告状
你看
我始终没有讨厌你
甚至 显得很体谅 对吧
都跟你说 我长大了

学乖了 不敢多说两句
话少了 听话了
认命了

你教我的 我都牢牢记得
要勇敢 的去爱
只有把心打开
才可以得到 真正的自由

才不想把你捧得高过天
你本来对我来说
就没有那么重要
哼!
只不过
我的命
有三分之一
是你救回来的
很感激
你的疼爱
让我变得 更任性
这就是宠我的结果

所以我宁愿自讨苦吃
选择不投靠你
很聪明吧!

如果你知道我现在
这般憔悴
或许
你就会说我是白痴了

虽然没有在对话
但你的影子
足够给我
很大的安慰
谢谢你
*鞠躬*

谢谢你留给我的那份温情
都跟你说了
你的情意 我早就心领了
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

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NEW YEAR EVE 31sT Dec 2013

I cannot believe time passes so fast, half of my year 2013 wishes didn’t came true. *frown*
Do I need another new year resolution for year 2014?
YESSSSSSSHH!!!!

I’ll have the same wishes this new coming year as last. I want to wish prosperity to Sg, happiness to people around the world no matter what their situation is, congratulations for surviving thus far. As the saying goes. ..”The only easy day was yesterday”

People who are rioting or in a war, they may not find time to have a nice coffee/break, so I wish them victory in their hearts. To find peace within themselves. I wish my family will be free of diseases and illnesses for the coming year, to stay healthy and lively. I wish my beloved friends a happiest new year especially my uni clique and classmates embarking on their future endeavours. My dearest Qad, Laode, Clone, Zephy (stop partying ar u), Xin, some others who’re constantly near my heart, just wanna tell u people once again, 有你们真好, 简直好到~~到到到~~没有话讲! 😀 I sincerely love these sweeties with all my liver (the largest internal organ in my body okay)

Also, to save the last deepest wish to myself and boyfriend. U’ll always my #1. It hasn’t change since years ago. Though we quarrel over silly matters and throw tantrums here and there, we swear to not give each other cold shoulders. This is why the art of daoing should never work on us. Both of us has been waiting for this day to come, isn’t it?

Why waste our years on fighting and owning each other when our relationship is not a war. There is no win or lose, we either win together= happy, or lose= be sad together. I don’t have to wish for stability in us because we already have it. I can trust u wholeheartedly that U wouldn’t abandon me anyhow.
Despite all the hurdles and ordeals, we’re still together trying it out, making things work. It took u so long to come back for me, 我怎么舍得你离开?
I WISH FOR YEAR 2014 to be free of jellies for my boyfriend. Hope he loves my friends too. Please extend his overprotective sphere to cover my friends, he can do better than insurance co. I bet!!

And I wish myself a wonderful year 2014, before that, a toast to 2013, am grateful for every little good things that came to me. In this coming year, I’ll graduate with flying colours (got 5 more months to prove that), I’ll get a job I really love and I’ll be more clever, cute, confident, creative&most important of all, carefree, cheers to ultimate freedom!! See, I want the 5Cs xDDD

I also wish my boyfriend to excel in whatever he would like to do in year 2014, I believe he can do it if he wants to! AND HOPE HE CAN QUIT SMOKING BY NEXT YEAR.!

In year 2014, pap’s dream will come true sooner or later, mommy will be happier (spending money&less kids to take care of), laoyi will be graduating with a 4.0GPA (hopefully)&wish her a good’ol life with her boyfriend. Laocheng will be taking his O’s at the end of the year, all the best bro, give it ur best shot!! Laopei will be struggling to go between a girl and a woman!! I bet she ll do it better than me at least.

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Here is something I took days ago. I’ll get myself a pot of pineapple tarts after CNY (promotional offers)!! Yipeee 😀
I’ll have lots of food to eat from now onwards although my fat storage are still there *points at tummy*
I read the zodiac chart at Bugis for Monkeys, it wasn’t really good but who cares? I am good 😉 I miss the goreng pisang at the pasar malam downstairs!! T.T My most favourite deep fried snack ever!!

Everywhere is preparing for countdown, don’t leave me out!! I wanna count too.. .

11 HOURS TO GO. ..

可惜不是你 陪我到最后

。 。。不记得歌词了

吼~!!

在这世上, 失去任何一样东西 都不会比 失去一个爱你的人 来得可惜。

得不到的人, 永远存于完美当中
得到过又失去的人,未必完美, 但可以很真实
曾经拥有 到底是该 快乐 还是 难过
知足的人 会觉得 够幸福了
相反的人, 会想要更好的, 最绝配, 宁缺毋滥。

等待是种幸福, 包括你有决心 一定等得到
因为我认识一位 等了很久的人 始终没有等到

他 幸福吗?

Splashy Sunday

I missed how much fun we had yesterday. I loved how good they both look together in the water, my sister and her boyfriend. We went to JE swimming complex followed by steamboat&grill dinner cum supper at Bugis!! xD

We were so full ad exhausted by midnight so we went home feeling extremely sleepy, I almost doze off in the train! :/

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And many thanks to sis’s bf for being alert so that we could get a cheaper cab fare! Thank u laoyi for making my Sunday a memorable one!! I cannot find the words to describe how great it feels to see her and boyfriend so happy together, having fun in the water and feeding each other. It’s a joy watching them, when they re behaving just like in the movies. Cool and sweet lovers they are!!

Mega thanks to my sweetest boyfriend!! *explode with love*
Firstly, he made Sunday possible by being an awesome planner. Though things get a little risky because pap and mommy were making our lives a little difficult, but we all made it through!
Secondly, as expected, he becomes the walking atm for me on Sunday :/ Who ask him to be the richest of the rich in this big big world. My richest boyfriend 🙂 (PS because I only have one)
Thirdly, I am so terribly sorry for the scratchmarks on his arm. I hopeit heals without leaving any visible marks on his smooth fair skin T.T
He got that from me as he was trying to save a struggle me in the water. I grab anything and everything I can to survive :/ And I have to repeat again, it is not entirely true that I don’t trust my boyfriend. I just have phobia of water. I can’t trust myself either.

However, I still love him alot alot!! Though we re on bad terms now because I found out he is smoking behind my back, breaking all his promises as such. That aside, we took the free downtown ride from Chinatown to Bugis! 😀

The total duration minus off the waiting time is approximately 10minutes plus. It is still fine, we got time to take many photos from only one angle haha! As well as staring at the newly built in screen above the seats, playing adverts blahblah

The dinner was yummy! Because it costs around 27 dollars per pax and food are available free flow, the boyfriends manage to devour 5 plates of beef slices *gasp*
I cannot imagine if I didnt stop him, he ll be only having beef for dinner << 3 hours.
I like the seaweeds in both soup and as a cold dish. I like eating with these people. I like watching my boyfriend cook even though I know he's going to give his tasters diarrhoea. I don't mind being his taster! :DDD

In the end, we got so bloated, I feel like I can float in the air without my feet touching the ground. It feels even more amazing than floating in water ._.

Mentioning about floating in water, my boyfriend rented 2 yellowish floats in the pools. Each shared by a couple. Boyfriend was so playful and jelly, he's forever copying laoyi&her bf's moves. Worst still, he's like an overly mischievous monkey!! He kept flipping laoyi&bf's float more than 10 times untill they started plotting on revenge. I was trying to cope with my fears of water all the time and seems to be out of sorts somehow- the *huh* blank face. ..

Maybe I look too stern, or maybe I was frowning all the time. I don't know, but my countless bad experiences all happened in that place. How can I overcome my fears? Hahaha

So.. .forget about overcoming fears, forget about learning to swim, let alone trap water. Remember to be happy 🙂

And before I make my trip to the Adventure cove at Sentosa (Waterpark), I must get myself a waterproof camera, this is also why I wanted to visit the IT fair tomorrow if possible!!

I want all these memories to last, even longer than I can ever exist. *greedy*

Smitten

This the result os missing my boyfriend too much. I am severely lovesick . ..

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One of the photos was edited 4 years ago by me. My boyfriend kept the photo till now *touched deeply* T-T

I am so gonna print them out on mugs, coasters, table, stickers on wall, under my pillow, on pillow case, in my wallet, in a frame on my bedside table, poster size on my bedroom door and toilet walls. …*100% smitten*

And I never forget my dearest Qad!! I helped her do one for her bfs too!! She sent me those puuurfect boyfriend photos, so I did it. Qad can made into a poster and stick it on ur walls, or made into puzzles. ..

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Ur bfs are so handsome and cute~~*-*

Kiss me under the mistletoe

This title is an understatement. We kissed everywhere in the day. Because he loves to pucker his lips and stop in the middle of the road randomly for a kiss. Most of the time, I ll just lean in to give one awkwardly. Can’t expect me to jump on him in the public right? Though I very much love to do so! 😡

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Anyway, we had a row on Xmas day. My low self esteem, and the missed out logcake, me being jelly because in most of the photos, he didn’t smile, and in those he did was because he was on the phone talking to friends. Many times I wonder, why is he not smiling, maybe he’s just not that happy being with me. I thought my boyfriend is different, he wouldn’t stick his eyes to his handphone screen when we’re out like some couple I saw out there. Well, in fact, he did.

When we’re dining at the TCC, a couple at the table next to us are frenching sweetly. What I admire the most is not that they could do it openly at ease, but rather they are staring intently into each other’s eyes while smiling&chatting, which shows their chemistry and how much they are in love happily. HE is obviously not playing with his phone. That is so romantic. Sighh. ..

I am forever jelly about how my boyfriend lights up whenever he’s with his friends, I ve seen too many times. And with me, it is just dead boring. I m not sure why, but this Xmas made me rethink about our relationship again.

Enough of my reflections. Back to what happened on Xmas day! xD
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Sentosa Skyride:
We took the two way ride for 13 dollars per pax. It was awesome!! My boyfriend was more nervous than me though I am more sensitive to heights. Our feet are dangling in the air, and to avoid perspiration due to fun rides, we skipped the luge. Whats more, time restrictions made us forgo the unlimited rides option at an additional 2 dollars ONLY!!! Urgh!!

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Orchard Road:
We walked from dhoby ghaut to orchard station and boyfriend bought me a mini santa hat!! I forgot to bring my own (which I wore for every xmas consecutively 3 years), and hence boyfriend has to spend 7 bucks on that beautiful red clip on my hair! *-*

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Followed by a romantic merry Xmas dinner at TCC (Art boutique cafe) though without a logcake as promised 😡 We should have tried the Xmas selection menu >.<

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My most favourite part of this year’s xmas is still the skyride. Despite the drizzle and misty sunset, I love 2013 Xmas because I get to send it with my lover 😀

Every year Xmas is a wonderful surprise. Last year, I took the cable car with Qad&Laode&took millions of photos at Orchard. The year before, I spent the day with my family and the year before with Laode at Orchard&Kbox. AND THE 21 YEARS of my life, I spent most Christmas with mycute and pretty kins. Thanks Lord for all the blessings!

Halleluyah! 🙂

Mommy controlling my financial decisions?

I read this article on Yahoo on WHY you shouldn’t let family control your financial decisions.

Adaptation:

They’re familiar refrains.

My parents think we should buy a house, but I don’t think our finances are ready for that.

My grandfather says only fools invest in the stock market.

Uncle Lewis invests a lot of his money in gold and insists we should all be doing the same.

My brothers say buying a car that’s less than five years old is a waste of money.

Family members and loved ones can be incredibly compelling. We trust them. We love them. We value their input. Sometimes, they frustrate us with their opinions, but we know it usually stems from love and concern.

How can we not listen to them? How can we not value their input? Here are a few things to keep in mind when your relatives start doling out money advice…. …

…. …(Read more here)

The bottom line: Unwanted financial advice doesn’t have to be a source of disagreement or family discord. You just have to respond in a polite, respectful way. Simply saying, “Interesting! I’ll look into that,” or “We plan on doing just that when we knock our student loans down a little more,” shows respect for the advice giver without having to accept the advice.

Remember, family members can be wonderful, caring people, but that doesn’t make them financial advisors.

Author: Trent Hamm is the founder of the personal finance website TheSimpleDollar.com, which provides consumers with resources and tools to make informed financial decisions.

Pap is the sole breadwinner in my family. He works as a factory assistant in the chemistry industry. Actually not, my sister, Gina works to support herself. She’s a freelance worker as a waitress my family calls it. Somewhere along the service line I guess. As for me, I am under a scholarship at the moment. Am graduating with a bachelor degree in June next year, I am provided with an additional living allowance of approximately 500 dollars monthly (Allowance given annually). My the other two youngest siblings are under the financial scheme in two secondary schools (Free study materials, lunch coupons to be use in the school canteens and subsidised school fees).   Me and Gina went through the almost same thing when we were young, as in when we were in primary or secondary schools. Mommy couldn’t work because she is depending on a hearing aid for both ears. That gives her difficulty to communicate well with her colleagues (she did went for many job interviews and failed, worked part-time for some and failed too). I mean the hearing aid should be a helping tool, but the aid is of more than 15 years old and we couldn’t afford the servicing every 3-6 months I guess. So the aid becomes an on and off device, sometimes working in good condition, sometimes cranky on its owner. The financial status of our family is considerably bad.

Somehow, we’re still alive! Kind souls from churches and other family service/counselling centres gift us packets of food. It usually contain rice, sweetened confectionaries such as biscuits or Swiss rolls, Milo powder, Salt/Sugar, canned food, and Instant noodles. As much as I know, many many processed foods because it is affordable to buy in bulks, long shelf-life, and easier to transport around for distribution. Hence, my family feeds on these highly processed food and become OBESE. Not that serious though, but I still believe these foods play a part in modifying our diet towards the unhealthy version. These food encourages snacking!! So I look upon these packages as poisonous food except salt and sugar can be used for cooking OR Milo as an energy drink. The rest are untouchable. So I admit they are of a great help financially after several years because imagine all the grocery expenses are savedddddddddddd :D:D

And our living expenses lighten up A LOT. Usually our family will receive comments from ignorant and insensitive people like: Why do you wanna give birth to so many piglets since you can’t afford it?!.. ..blahblah.. ..Do you want to give up your kids for adoption?.. ..You could actually take up a job without having to talk or listen.. ….Move into a smaller house then!! (Mind those bunch of damn onlookers, we’re already staying under the roof of the cheapest rented house one could ever find in Singapore), Why not you all stop schooling and go work to support yourself?.. ..WHO ASK YOU GIVE BIRTH TO SO MANY KIDS?!

I am sick and tired of all these shitty comments from random ignorant strangers, insensitive neighbours and  unprofessional counsellors. Especially those from the weird sort of isolated community centres. It does not solve our problem, relieve our heavy load. It only adds on to our worries, and I can prove that I have been worrying since young about our family financial condition, look at my white hair! (And all the gone hair in the dustbin) Hence I’ve been very particular about my expenses.

These are what I did for my expenses:

1) I kept my bills (boyfriend found out after looking through my stuff) and did a record keeping for what I pay monthly

2) I take note of what I eat so much that I measure the amount of food I eat not in terms of calories but in terms of price (e.g. Amount not to exceed 10 dollars daily)

3)  I must at least have some savings in my bank which can last me up to 3 months jobless (it didn’t work, I usually ran out of money sooner than I’ve expected)

4) Because Mommy controls the flow of my money, she kept my bank book etc. So I have to memorize and report to her what, how, why, who and where I spent my money on occasions. (This is the most difficult part, so I’ll made it up most of the time)

5) Sometimes I’ll shrimp and save to that extend if I am spending more than I should, I’ll stop spending the day or week after, in which I’ll isolate myself at home so that I can survive on snacks and not go out and SPEND MORE.

Mommy takes control of my expenses because she knows I am not very good at that. But I tried to control my own too. So I needed to let her now I can do it and she don’t have to look or update my bank book DAILY. Whats more, my earnings (worked sometimes during term breaks) or allowances are split among my siblings and parents because they need it for daily expenses too. To be truthful, pap’s earnings can only support himself and the house bills (Rented apartments). I am in charge of the groceries and food items, sometimes even bills, my own bills, siblings telephone bills, electricity blahblah, EVEN if it means I AM NOT WORKING.

Worst still, pap even told me he wants to retire after I started working, which means I’ll have to be the sole breadwinner of the family, and I believe if my salary is below 2k after the deduction of CPF, I might die.     

 and because Mommy knows my expenses and savings everything, she might just take ALL.

With all these, I told myself umpteenth times never never to become a burden for my boyfriend and my friends (Many did those I wish they didn’t become victims, I went around borrowing money from classmates for lunch money since young). Often, my friends invite me to their house for lunch/dinner, some, like QAD actually gave me life-saving food from her house *tears of gratitude*, Laode ended up treating me eat because I seem like a poor cad in school, boyfriend even has to pay for some of my expenses and he paid for most of what we both spend (though very very occasionally I do pay.. .hmm), even Xin has to pay for my admission tickets to some fun outdoor attractions and recreational activities ):

I must do something. I must do something.. .

 

EvE!!

I spent my Xmas EVE with Qad!! I love to countdown with her and being with my most loveliest girlfriend makes me extremely happy and comfy 😀

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We had a meal at popeyes and shopped around Bugis district before heading home together!! Boyfriend says he is treating me logcake hours later!! Yipee.

And my carelessness is definitely unforgivable!! I actually missed out an email that was sent to me last month on my scholarship allowance, phew I was brave enough to ask around and found out I was blur ad silly. Boyfriend says it is a blessing in disguise because I saved more this year for next year! *happy*

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Qad is my best girlfriend ever because I love her sooo much and she’s telling me to enjoy later in my best outfit. Hahaaa!! Love her!! Muackss.

Wishing all of my friends and their families a merry pretty Xmas!! ❤
May all the wishes come true on this day for them!

Eve?

Anyone wants to spend their Christmas eve with meeee?

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Probably I should remember Eve too. She emailed me but I haven’t reply.

Also best regards to all my cutie pies out there!!

Laocheng says Ronin47 is a too romantic movie for him. Gah, not watching any movie anymore, all not nice D: