Oh myyyy

I dropped one of my bra ring in the cinema while watching GI JOE! Gosh, saaaaad! Now one of my nehs no supporrt at all.. .actually felt better 🙂

Laoyi and I having mac, waiting for breakfast to come out at 4am!

Meanwhile..
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3M

Millions of photos to arrange! *flustered* why so many! I thought i tried hard to not take any since this year. But why still so many :/

My skydrive is going to burst ):

Fun with sparkle

Booked my travel insurance online at ACE with mcard! 150Bucks for 1month plus of travel ahh

Then elsa took an unglam.photo of me in class, was doing report with her!

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And squinting my eye again omg ):

But felt better when i finally hand up my report. Though i forgot to cite one of my ref properly.. .my format always the lousiest! Guess im the only one who do not knw hw to make a cover page till now! Only knw how to write contents&discuss.. .

Anyways here are a few of my art pieces woohoo 😀 was playing ard with my app.. .

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original haha!

Forever having fun editing picturrs since a long time ago!

Rmbering on clarice’s 21st,

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In the evening when the Aries guy was there with my libra sis, both of us were playing his new game. His passion for (Digipen design) game designing was so cool, he was watching her play his game intently. And told me, the best feeling on earth is to have someone else playing ur game. This is simply awesome! so freaking attracted to passionate ppl 😡

And when i asked abt his exams&school, he told me if u love ur course, there is no way u gotta find it too difficult to do. *smitten*

I nearly got caught trying to follow him ard gosh! &&& he say my dress beautiful! Not me -.- haha!

Their passing mark is 70%, and he’s so happy&contended with what he love to do. Hard to find such guys already! Though he’s a person who loves drinking&all, cool personality! My camp people real cute after i knw each &everyone of them personally! Did i even mention how lovey dovey they seem to me?

Camp matie whose bday is a day before me, she’s gorgeous! Superb pretty with a kind heart. Watching how she care for the quietest guy was touching~

Ohmy, i digress again! How am i suppose to be critical, if i often go out of topic! Maybe, a sparkle photo starts with a *tingting-* heart&soul.

*tingtingtingtingting*

Waking up in a dream

Hugging my baobao as tightly as possible. The truth hurts, i can’t handle the truth really.

Dreamt that mama was a thailand doctor,was puzzled when i saw her title printed in blocks stuck outside the living room door. And i was bathing, bathing for the whole night since i sent mz off secretly to the army. bathing in agony perhaps.

Then suddenly, i woke up from my sleep in my dream, mz was slping soundly next to me. Was in a shock until i found out frm laoyi that mama forgave him, he pleaded her for the whole night, and talked to laoyi sincerely. Laoyi plucked his eyelids, staring closely, saying she believe he’s true to me, can see it in his eyes. Rather, it seems ridiculous to me. Weird is that, i dont feel too happy, maybe imma little logical in my dream? Do not wish to accept nonsense.

Then laoyi fell aslp after my questioning. I went back to my bedroom and sat dwn beside him. He still look the same, i can see every details clearly. Am i even suppose to? This seems abit explicit and violated. What a 3D dream.

At once i felt relieved, like some deep enmity cleared up. But all i did was plant a kiss on his forehead, cover his blanket and left the place. Feeling distorted and emotional. After which i woke up.

*cries*

This is the second dream since the last one, when i dreamt about my dad forgiving him. Still so vividly without refering to the blogpost months ago. Pap had forgiven us too, but i only realised it is too late.

原来我等的是父母亲的原谅。只有做梦才得知真相。

This time round is mum..both of them in my dreams finally concede to me&mz being together. But worst, i am thinking about this another guy.

In a confused state now. Dont even understand what is happening to me. Only felt something tearing me apart inside. So all the pain, and tears these years was because of this? Necause i needed my parents to forgive my sins? Or why, why God gave me such dreams.

Because i am forgiven? Or because while im waiting foolishly for nothing, somebody wish to give me a broader&clearer picture of what is never going to happen. I have to forgive myself first?

Did i dream about this only because it is my deepest wish? I am so in a  despair& impaired. My love was numb, brain not functioning well. Eyes too. So much water welling in my eye, for what?

My heart is too small to contain more than one person. My pair of eyes is also very small to take a good lookout for any single guys. my camp mates, they re pairing up, my schoolmates, classmates, all of them are forming a couples club already. It makes me happy to see how blessed& lovely people can be.

On the other hand, i felt horrible because they were carefree beings. I am still however stuck in a situation whereby i could not ever find any release. All i did was to stay there and wait for nothing, a miracle perhaps? So helpless.

Though i know now, that i am not wishing for him to return to me because i have someone else on my mind. But this time round, it is going to be harder to get rid of this person totally frm my soul. Sigh.. .

*heart,brain,eyes rinsing time*

Freak myself out

Had a dream this morning, was in a supermarket ,dim place, and witness murders, trying to hide, running around, being in a highly stressed stage.

Must be too tired, hope tonight after shedding gallons of tears, can be able to fall asleep nicely!

Clarice bday was awesome. Never in my lifei see such a grand party. The rainbow bday cake was soo sweet, over 200 ppl turned up. Its was at a function room, so crowded. The buffet were awesome! The cake is 7 layer of colours in 3 layers of cake! I wonder how much is that. She’s in an elegant white angel dress with heels. Very beautiful. Everything was so beautiful in its time! Bday parties are great! I hope to spending time alone with myself for my 21st!

Be happy because, almost everyone i know of spent their 21st being a busy and tiring host, didnt eat in peace at all, too many friends&relatives to entertain. Spent tons of money and feel exhausted at the end. Just a nono for me, taking instagram (saw her 20packets of film) with every single guests. More extravagant than a wedding. How expensive! How not my ideal type of celebration. But am totally happy and glad for her!

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心痛

这种痛, 难以形容。比起丧失亲人还要痛苦难受。 比起知道自己活不过明天, 还要残忍。 比起失恋,吃不下, 睡不着, 还要备受煎熬。时不时的掉泪, 又不知道为什么这么感伤。 只知道感觉好委屈,痛不欲生。 突然间觉得, 自己好像活的很辛苦,可是不知道哪里辛苦了。

有时又觉得很悲观, 世人好可怜。世界很黑暗,人与人之间太复杂。生活不好过,赌气,纠纷,疯狂,滥交。社会一大堆害群之马,社交以成了色交。命运也可怕,捉弄人也无处可逃。任人摆布也只能唉声叹气,认命是唯一的选择, 而不是条出路。 因为最终, 人类无处可逃, 只能归土。从哪里来,就回哪里去。

问世间,情为何物?人生短暂,真的做到最好,对自己有个交代就得了吗?还是放荡的游走,来来回回,绕一大圈,始终要面对死亡。 死,并不可怕,最怕只怕活着跟死了没分别。

很感慨,寂寞是什么。碰到的事物带给我什么信息,什么意义。这么走一会,学到的,读几十年书,为的是造福人群,并非是为了自己。无私的爱换来的又会是什么? 太多疑问,数不清的想很多。 若真的有答案, 我想人类也不会拼得你死我活,自相残杀,换来的只有爱恨情仇,残酷的报复,和复出惨痛的代价。

害人之心不可有,防人之心不可无。 但在刹那一瞬间,少了点自私,多了点爱心,不去浪费时间精力对他人有所怀疑,有所防备,那该有多好!
说得容易,做的难。 正所谓。 。。

*睡着了* ZZZzzzzz

Over the moon

This is the aftermath of experiencing in the clouds feeling. After that maybe i’ll be in the universe already. Tmr shall go get tix at expo, hope i can really manage to stay in switz for a week, then paris a night, london a night. I’ll probably visit scotland, manchester, belgium or even germany some other day! As much as why i love being an explorer in.maple, i love the lush green sceneries. Will walk as much as possible!

Also, i love how Dr lynn was lenient with my report, gave me a high score of 90, though my moderated mark Is 86 because Dr David.C gave me a 76. this is by far, my highest mark for an assignment. Module is consumer psychology. My work was thoroughly scrutinised. Thanks for the feedback!

Up next, my micro report gotten a high mark of 52. I said high because if i were Dr Dawn, i would have failed myself badly. The entire report was written in poor English. Example Gram stain is suppose to have an upper case of ‘G’, colour is spelled with a ‘u’ before ‘r’, i wrote my report in past, present, future tense all mixed up. Not only that, i wrote in SHORT FORM FOR THE TITLE AND SUBHEADINGS! Whats got into me huh? didnt Qad reminded me not to write in short form for reports? Back in our poly days? I even dare to write expt 1&so on. My figures and tables were labelled wrongly. My discussion is too limited. My calculation for viable cells only requires one step, but i did it in ten steps. By working it in a big round without thinking properly. She was lenient to spare me marks. Yesterday, when she’s trying to tell our class how badly we did for the report, the whole class roared in laughter, but she say its not funny. She almost explode, jumping in rage trying to make us understand. All my grammer and vocab mistakes (got s, no s, got ing, no ing) should stay in primary sch. My standard is really not consistent. Blame it on my ms word 😡

So i changed my language settings to UK instead of US.and off to improve my report II!

Am very happy mama came dwn to wash my dishes cos i was super lazy this afternoon, typing furiously on my report. Happy pap&mam pei me eat dinner.

Is the croods out already?OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG i want watch! Idc, grabbing strangers with me, dragging everybody to watch!! Listening to i dont love u by MCR! Woohoo, hope i have a freaking naise day tmr! And hope i can find good deals! Also.. .what rainbow thee suit shall i wear for Clarice’s 21st? Shall wear glasses, with many coloured hair clips, then colour my eye, or 7 colour eyeshadow? Later im the only weird onz! person thr. . ..

Blur as hell

Dr iain was just outside the general office sitting at his desk waiting for me, then i ran past him, attention on my just received back report. He called out my name, but i just ignore him like that?!

Then stood at his office door, after a moment of realization, turned back and saw him round the corner. I was so terribly soooirrrrrrrry gosh. Whats got onto me, i just pangseh my lecturer outside the general office aftersummoning him from the office. Absolutely crazzzy! Thx God, he ‘s as forgiving as ever!