so long since the very last time i wrote something on this wall page.
so long since i’ve updated.
so long since i’ve discovered my way of life.
so long since i’ve indulge in this money free. stress free activity:blogging.
Didn bother to do much bout creating a blogspot. i dont write much actually.
Just using this as a tool to get over certain stuffs& reflect on myself.
Also to get friends to knw how i’ve been. to allow mind to settle dwn.& prepare for whats ahead.
its only 6:30 now. At this time, normally kids go to school with umbrellas or in cars. yes, its raining cats&dogs. pouring all over my vicinity. im really glad i got to be under a shelter, a place i can call home. Papa just went out for work. i saw him kind of dress up for work around 5am in those dim lights.
And i was up in an hour later. i couldnt sleep any longer. its irritating, tiring to wake up so early just for nothing. i cant see where im going.
i have no direction. its not aimless. its sort of helpless.
Seems like it was yesterday since i saw your face, now still vivid in my mind.
i carried too much of our memories even though you do started it all. idk why.
i only slept for about 3 hours since last night.
i feel so ugly right now. HAHA
where is my doraemon. my blanket. my baobao. myself.
where is myself.
i tried . i really tried to not think him as another passer-by in my life so i wont get all those stupid thoughts& get so insecured everytime.
However i cant get rid the fact that he’s meant to live out there. Changing time&places. he’s born to sleep at places.
So why restrict him or even tie him dwn to myself since he’s such a traveller.
Never in my life, i wanted somebody so much that it hurts.
it hurts to not see or touch him.
Hurts to not even hear his voice. Hurts to not being able to feel him. To smell him.
Used to thought the greatest torture in the world was the inability to sleep. Now im all so lovesick. i find that to being not able to see somebody you want to see very much can be a torture too. In fact, one of the greatest torture.
Sometimes i blame myself for being such a fool to even think that he dont love me):
But i cant help. i cant help it. idk why.
&& i love my papa.
Like how he had loved me these 17 years. At times he can be real worrying, annoying, agressive. But he can be loving, caring,understanding as well. We cant choose our fathers. Sad enough, we cant choose our mother as well. But i love them so much. No matter where they are ;always at those working places far away from me, or even on seperate homes with me. i still love them so much.
i lovelovelove my parents(:
AHA! the rain dont stop yet. but dawn had already passed& the sun is out regardless those raindrops.
Time stops for no one.
So gonna end this& get some sleep before i faint or anything.
If not i can go see what i can do on facebook.
EH. maybe try out maple.
okay i know its childish. HAHA
anyways my birthday near.
dont have any wishes currently
Living a very simple life now. cant chiuu SEE?!
Untill a level where i cant even write much anymore):
I’ll fry my brains , or maybe boil it for approximately 4 minutes to see if it can help(:
okay influence from my course. HAHA!